I finally have a moment to report about The Cruise to The Edge from the beginning of the month. A very good experience – probably easiest covered in three bits – which means that I can leave the terrifying consequences to the third part.

PART ONE : Going on a Cruise.

What’s not to like? I spent two pleasant days with my wife, Indeg, and Robert at the Intercontinental Hotel in Miami, right on the seafront, so that my morning jog took me round the bay (complete with stranded boat)…

…followed by a much less energetic meander up and down the swimming pool.

On the Thursday morning, we were collected and driven a couple of miles to the ship. They had an excellently arranged quick boarding priority for artists – except – crucial mistake – that they dropped us at the completely crowded Atrium, thronging with what seemed to be the majority of the two thousand music fans on board, while we needed to be one door further long at the lifts, which would then whisk Robert away to the sanity of his suite on the fourteenth floor. The room for my wife and I, on the eleventh floor, was somewhat less palatial, but nevertheless a good home-from-home…

…complete with a balcony from which we could see Miami gently disappear and the ocean come into view. The sounds and view of the sea remain as beguiling as ever.

The ship began by very slowly working its way past the houses and squillion dollar yachts on the waterway. In a world with an ever-larger wealth divide, here it was writ large -watching those multi-million dollar homes float past from the balcony of a luxury cruise liner.

We left port at about 5pm, and I think the opening act, Rick Wakeman, took the stage at 6pm. These cruises are conceived such that the performances occur in international waters (meaning that performance visas and taxes are not needed), but I suspect that he must have been close to being firmly within US waters. Indeg and I had dinner with Robert in the “artists’ dining room” on the 6th floor, taking advantage of the lull while Rick was in stage. We then made the rookie mistake of leaving the dining room at about 7.30, just as Rick’s concert ended, with the entire audience of a thousand people heading to the same small five lifts that we needed to take us up eight floors. If Robert was going to be eaten alive by all the fans on the ship, this was the moment. Happy to report that he survived, outwardly unscathed.

Fellow cruise passengers do feel that they have the right to your attention and a shared intimacy that they wouldn’t under other circumstances. Part of the appeal, I am sure. And under circumstances, Robert and I wouldn’t have stood for an hour’s photo-session, being photographed by a seemingly endless stream of people, all of whom began by saying “I’m sorry” as they walked towards us for their photo-opp.

The Cruise can best be described as a water-based music festival – with performances happening continuously on about five different stages., including the outside “pool stage”.

We had two performances scheduled, one in the afternoon of the 5th April our first full day at sea, and one in the evening of the 7th – in PART TWO.